Today I am thinking about courage. I keep playing the Les Mis and Newsies (broadway shows, not the movies) soundtracks over and over in my head.
Then I get that excited feeling when someone hits the climax of a song. I know that could be me on that stage. I always wonder why I auditioned for classical music instead of musical theater. Then I remember, the defeating feeling of failure. Could I handle if I wasn’t accepted to a certain school? Then, even if I was accepted, could I handle the pressure of the load? I love theater, and music so much. The question that rings in my mind is could I handle the day to day stress of being such a major? And then the job search afterwards? Then I realize there are so many things I could be doing as well. I could be a writer (like this blog), I could go back to music, I could go into hospitality business like I planned. I feel like a failure sometimes because I left school to move back home for personal reasons, and did not finish out the year in music. I know deep down that took so much courage to do all of the things I have done. I think I will try some community theater to scratch this itch for now. Who knows where I will end up.
I know tackle another thought this afternoon. Courage. What is it? Pride at it’s downfall? Is having too much courage a bad thing? The Lion in the Wizard of Oz (another show that I have been in before) was courageous even without knowing it. Maybe that is the key. To be courageous and take a leap without knowing that you are taking a risk and being brave. I also want to point out that you don’t have to do something huge and spectacular to be brave. There are so many ways to be courageous. I think one of those is love. Loving someone, a person who is not family or close friends, but really loving someone. That takes so much work, courage, and emotional effort. I think that is one of life’s many joys. Love.