I’ve been thinking more about what truly inspires me lately. Is it the books that I read on my kindle? Is it the silly things my dogs do when they need something. Is it the thought that my life is just beginning? I am not quite sure. Life seems to go on as it always has. With or without me, the world keeps on revolving. I think of the way things have changed in the last six months and I realize more and more what I gave up when I graduated and entered the real world.
Security. The same walls of the same building in the same school district… for years. That leads to a sense of security (at least in my hometown it does). The largest thing to happen would be a girl stole a teachers car, but she didn’t remain in the district for long after that day. It was my home away from home. Especially my musical and choir “family”. I can not even begin to explain to you how much I adore the people in that program. They kept me going. If I got sick, I went to school just to sit through choir, or to go to musical rehearsal at the end of the day, knowing if I needed them they would be there.
Friends. All of my friends have scattered over time. Many go to a large school close by, but even they remain anonymously on campus to me, for I have lost touch with them. Then there are the people still at high school, wrapped up in their lives and high school gossip that once upon a time I used to be involved in.
My first love. We lost what we once valued as love. and I know you have read the previous posts about this event in my life, so I won’t go into detail again.
My old values and immaturity. In these last few months, I have really changed what I consider to be important. Morals are huge in my life. The meaning of life has been something I have been really thinking about as well. What are the values I want to hold onto and shape myself into?
Maybe I am grasping at straws here. Maybe I should be looking at what hasn’t changed and what I still have instead of all the things in my life that have gone sour or completely disappeared. So that is my new inspiration. Holding onto everything that I know is dear and close to my heart and letting that propel me forward into the future. God has a plan for me, and I just have to trust him.