As I type my capstone paper for one of my econ classes, I find myself in a frenzy of trying to figure out exactly why I didn’t feel like paying attention to some of the material. Why I took so long to actually start this paper. As I await the deadlines and upcoming trip up north, I become impatient and dread what the next few weeks actually have to bring. How in the world am I expected to write this paper and study for two exams these next two days? As I make myself late to a group gathering and wonder why I can’t seem to focus, I discover that people watching is my favorite activity these days. Being able to drive myself to my favorite coffee shop, and watch people. What kind of person orders what, where they sit. How they study the paper of notebook they bring with them. I wish I could tell what exactly they were thinking. What each expression on their face meant. It is amazing to me that people can be so different and yet so similar at the same time. I compare myself to the person across the way and try to find similarities. I can’t seem to find any. I find myself also listening to the music and wondering why the guy is wearing headphones when the current song playing is amazing. I see the guy wearing a white baseball cap and see him looking at me. Probably doing the same thing I am, people watching. I notice the guy reading a book for fun and think, how can he read a book with all of this awesome stuff going on. The smell of coffee is enticing and I feel at ease when it is in the air.
I really should get going and continue something that is due or go to my friend’s party. I find myself wanting to blog though and can’t seem to stop myself from typing these words. As we speak, I see girls who went to my high school walk in and make complete fools of themselves. I can’t help but wonder if that is how I look when I come in with my best friend. There is a question for you, is that something we automatically do? Judge those, who is reality are probably very similar to us?
My ramblings tonight are very random. I just can’t seem to focus at all. Stress is my number one thing right now. I should go back to my essay…. right?