Have you ever done this? Or had it happen to you?
Lately, since the holiday season has begun, I find myself wishing to find someone who makes me feel the way I did all through high school, yet with a healthier relationship. I found it ironic that as I began thinking about all of these things, three articles from blogs surfaced and caught my eye. The first one I read by James Michael Sama (http://jamesmsama.wordpress.com/2013/11/06/10-ways-to-know-youre-dating-a-real-man/) “10 Ways to Know You’re Dating A True Gentleman”, really got me thinking. He begins with some obvious ways, for example, a gentleman will not value just your looks and will not be intimidated by your success, then led into some that struck gold in my mind. I look back at a previous relationship and realize that the fact that we spent all of our time together and that our interests were very similar was not good. The fact that he couldn’t give me straight answers, even when he was breaking up with me was another sign. Even though yes, he “trusted” me and gave me “respect”, the relationship was still not ideal.
James also has another post that was linked within the one mentioned above (http://jamesmsama.wordpress.com/2013/06/11/the-difference-between-a-bad-boy-and-a-jerk/) and I realized that the guys I had been drawn to since becoming single, haven’t been the best guys in the world. I met a guy and invested my time into someone who just wanted the copy of the next exam from a class and was willing to call me names on the phone in anger. That’s not something I can take. I can NOT allow myself to be enamored with someone with the qualities of, like Jame’s says, a jerk. Then I find myself making excuses for this guy.
“Oh, he is just a stupid freshman”
“He doesn’t know how to treat people because he is so young”
None of these excuses are okay and as I read this article (http://justmytype.ca/11-differences-between-dating-a-boy-vs-a-man/) I realized that I just need to be patient. The right person will come along at sometime and I can’t just settle for someone who is willing to treat me like crap just because he is nice or actually interested. I have to think of myself and who will be right for me.
The last article I came upon actually made me smile, but also told made me realize exactly who I am waiting for. Disney blogs posted about what “Your Favorite Disney Prince Says About You” (http://blogs.disney.com/oh-my-disney/2013/05/19/what-your-favorite-disney-prince-says-about-you/?cmp=SMC%7Cblgomd%7COMD-December%7CFB%7CPrince-Cinderella%7CInHouse%7C121913%7CRepost%7C%7Cesocialmedia%7C%7C%7C) and noticed that I want the package deal. Someone who is attractive to me because of their personality, wit and intelligence, and can make me laugh while at the same time has morals, makes me want to be a better person and overall treats me well.
I hope you take a moment to read each of these posts for yourself and remember how much you are worth.
I have to say that for someone who needs to study desperately for her final exams, I couldn’t focus without expressing my current emotions into words. I have been working 30 hour weeks at BCBG and that does not include my classes. I think that for a girl who has always been so motivated these last few weeks have been hard. As much as I try, I cannot seem to like the hospitality classes I have been taking. I feel like a failure at times because I am so lost when it comes to statistical methods 201. The fact that I am taking a hotel class when I don’t want anything to do with hotels is eating me alive right now.
In essence of where that could take me in my life, I find that it could be useful, except that it is incredibly boring. I am now being drawn more towards the English side to my bachelors and how that can intertwine with another degree. The burning question on the forefront of my mind is am I doing the right thing?
I went to see my high school’s fall musical a few weeks ago and once again fell madly in love with everything I gave up a year ago. Part of me wishes I could leave everything behind and go out to California to live my life writing and making people happy through my music.
I can only consider completing music here at school for a minute before I am reminded that one of the darkest parts of my life seems to be revolving around that. For that reason alone, I stay away.
Is it immature to stay away from something that seemed to take up so much of your life because of one person? A person who hurt you so badly that the mere coincidence that they show up somewhere sends you into a complete curveball of emotions that you can’t get out of and your heart pounds faster than you ever remember it doing? Or maybe it’s just a heart attack. If so, I’ve had many in the last year.
Can anyone explain how the human mind becomes so wrapped around the mere vision created and why it sticks with them, even if the cause of that dream is no longer there? It seems to be my problem. You know, they say that the one you think of last when falling asleep and waking up is the person you love. If that’s so then I don’t even want to think about my future with 9 cats. meow.
I’ve given up on men for now. There is no point in waiting around anymore for people who turn out to not be what you thought they were. I guess my trouble is finding someone who is worth the time and willing to put as much of themselves in a relationship as I am. I met this guy, who I thought would be a great person, then it turned out all he wanted was copies of my stats exams. Throw me for a loop, why don’t ya?
I think I will stick with a celebrity crush on Liam Hemsworth.